Marvin the Kid

Marvin wanted to be a gunfighter, just like his hero Billy the Kid. So he went into town, bought a black Stetson hat, a black gun belt and
a black horse to go with the completely black outfit.

He went home and practiced for 2 solid weeks behind the barn shooting at various targets and drawing his pistols until he was as fast as lightening and every shot was a dead shot no matter what he shot at.

He rode into town, tied his black horse up at the bar, and walked inside the bar. There stood his hero, Billy the Kid, at the bar. He walked right up to him and told him, "I am your biggest fan and would like your opinion. Do I Look like a gunfighter like you?"

Billy the Kid looked at Marvin, his black Stetson hat down to his black boots, and asked, "You look fine, but can you shoot?"

"Sure can," replied Marvin, "See that piano player over there? Watch
this!"

Marvin pulled out his pistol with his right hand and shot the right cuff link off of the piano player's shirt!

"That's pretty good, but can you shoot with your other hand too?", Billy the Kid asked.

"Sure can!", said Marvin, and drew his left pistol and shot the other cuff link off of the piano player's left sleeve.

"That's pretty good", said Billy the Kid.

"What else should I do to be a gunfighter like you?" asked Marvin.

"Well," drawled Billy the Kid, "You should go into the kitchen and get
some lard and rub it all over your pistols. That won't make you draw any
faster, but when Wyatt Earp gets finished playing the piano, it won't hurt
so bad when he shoves those pistols up your ass."